Slowing

During one of our recent car rides/philosophical conversations, Caleb and I discussed what God's rules are. I told him that God wants us to #1 -- love him, and #2-- love other people. And Caleb added, "And #3 -- don't do too many things in one day."

I laughed, but also appreciated this bit of wisdom. It's been one of my personal missions this year to SLOW DOWN. And by not just trying to limit the number of items on the calendar, but to be more intentional about life and its little moments, such as avoiding rushing my kids so often. (This is a hard one! "Come on, get your shoes, let's go, Go, GO!")

Those who know me well, know that saying no is something I've struggled with for a long time. When people ask for my time or my assistance, it's so hard to decline. First, I feel bad because for better or for worse, my Dutch ancestors have taught me that guilt should govern my emotions. And if I'm honest, I have to admit that saying "yes" to every request can be a bit like a drug -- there's that sense of satisfaction and self-worth that comes from feeling needed and busy. Unfortunately, those feelings often come at the expense of my sanity and my family. But, I'm getting better at being real -- knowing when to say yes because it's a good decision, and knowing when I'd be saying yes for all the wrong reasons! I still have a long, long, long way to go, and I am no where near perfect, but God is showing me that my self-worth is not dependent on what I do, but who I am.

I have to give a book that my small group studied this past winter a lot of credit for this new outlook. We read Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life by Keri Wyatt Kent. It was a great read and one of those books that makes you feel like the author has been secretly videotaping your life. I highly recommend it -- especially to mothers who feel some days like they are responsible for keeping the world spinning. Register for it right along with that Baby Bjorn.

Luckily, these summer months provide such a refreshing opportunity for me to slow down, to spent simple moments with my kids, to take stock, and assess how I'm doing spiritually. But, I hope I'm able to learn more and more how to slow down every day, how to spend my moments in ways that matter, how to use my time most wisely. Like so many spiritual disciplines, slowing down enough to hear God's voice is a journey, but one I'm glad I'm on.

In the book I referred to above, Kent writes, "If we want to act as Jesus would, to love others, and be present with them in the way he did, to be as unhurried as he was, we need to emulate him. Not just his knowledge, wisdom, teachings. We need to order our lives in much the same way that he did, to engage in the practices he did."

Loving others like Jesus takes some serious time, and it takes energy that comes straight from God. In order to have that kind of energy, I have to make sure I'm recharged -- that I haven't used up every moment of my day and every bit of my patience. So, maybe Caleb was right about rule #3-- in order to love God and love others, we do have to be intentional that our days are not so stuffed that we don't have room to let God move.