What I know today...

Whether you can't watch the news today or can't take your eyes off it, whether your first instinct is tears or your body tenses in anger, whether you want change and action or just to just sit still in silence – no one can deny that the reality of our broken world hurts.

I'm grappling today for words, for sense in a senseless situation. I know very little, but my thoughts keep coming back to a few things.

I'm thankful for the good people in my kids' lives who help me and Tim care for them – for Caleb's first grade teacher, with her sparkling personality, warm hugs, and heart  bursting for little ones. For Ms. Pat, who takes my youngest two into her home while I teach – who feeds them, changes them, cleans up after them with limitless energy, joy, and love. I'm thankful for the teachers I've had who taught me so much more than just curriculum, and I'm thankful for the teachers in that school in Connecticut. And my heart aches for them.

I'm grateful for "the helpers." The late Fred Rogers, when dealing with children and tragedy said, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world."

I realize that this world is not safe. That it's fragile. That life can change in a second. I'm thankful for the assurance that safety and complete comfort, for me, for my children, for all of us, is found in Jesus. I'm thankful that my only comfort in life and in death is that "I am not my own, but belong body and soul – in life and in death – to my faithful savior, Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven: in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him" (Heidelberg Catechism, Q & A 1).

And I'm remembering a prayer I read this week in preparation of Christmas:
Father, I am weary of all that is wrong with the world – murder of the innocents, a smeared and wrecked creation, tyrant-oppressed poor, hunger-writhed children, exploited women, forgotten elderly, invisible homeless. I long to see that all these enemies – yours and mine – will be, once and for all, condemned, and all crooked things made straight. Set me to making a way for your justice with renewed vigor. In Jesus our Deliverer's name we pray, amen. (HC 52)
                                                                     - From Seeking God's Face, Advent – Day 9