Christmas with Caleb

Caleb plays Papa Woody's "mouth organ" to accompany his favorite song, "John Deere Green."

I think I'm learning a bit about Grace this Christmas.

As Tim and I try to teach Caleb about Christmas and its real meaning, it seems my son is much quicker to catch on to the ideas fed to him by our commercial society -- he suddenly likes looking at advertisements that arrive in the mail, has added the words "I want" to his vocabulary, and lectured me about Santa after he discovered wrapped presents under our tree. I was convinced I had totally failed as a parent the night I asked him, "Whose birthday is on Christmas?" and he proclaimed "Mine! And Santa will bring me presents." Disgusted, I muttered, "Who teaches you these things?" and he said, "You, Mommy."

As much as I want my son to think beyond himself during this holiday season, those are pretty tough marching orders for a two-year old who hasn't quite realized there is a world beyond himself. Maybe it's my own struggle with keeping my priorities and eyes in the right place that come out in my frustration with my son's ability to grasp this concept of selflessness.

On Friday night, we were walking out of TSC (Tractor Supply Company), where we had stopped to purchase a present for my nephew. Of any shopping trip, the "Tractor Store" is Caleb's favorite. While we picked out the gift, he ran excitedly through the aisles admiring John Deeres, combines, Monster trucks pulling bass boats, etc. But when he left the store empty handed, it was almost more than he could take. As he cried in the back seat, whining about wanting a tractor, Tim was threatening to pull the car over, with warning that "spoiled boys don't deserve tractors." Now, both of our frustration levels were rising. As Caleb forgot what he was so upset about several miles down the road, I said something to the effect of, "Honey, I guess we do have to remember that he's two. This is a learning process for him. He's born selfish and we're just supposed to do what we can as his parents to make him less so..."

Don't you think God must feel like that with us? He looks down and we're pouting and groaning about life's inconveniences, while all the while, he knows what is best for us and is trying to teach us a bit more about caring less about ourselves, more about others, and more about doing His will. Only there's a lot more of us...and if we're honest, most of us have our two-year old moments, too.

So, as I pray that my son will grasp that Christmas is about Jesus, I know I'm fighting an uphill battle. I know that he will fight with his cousins over presents just unwrapped, I know that there will probably be more than one temper-tantrum that will attempt to douse our holiday cheer, and I know that this won't be the first or only Christmas I hear the words, "I want...", but I also know that thanks to Jesus, there's enough grace to cover his selfishness. And mine.

Merry Christmas.